read my damn blog, ma
My mom, Ginny, has been known to NOT read my blogs. I have had a blog for quite a few years. The woman does not read them! Her excuse — “I read them when you email me.” Newsflash mom, I’m not emailing you. You actually signed up to get them. So, in light of her lack of reading these days, I’ve decided to dedicate a blog post to her.
For years, my mom has been known to laugh. She’s a funny woman. But, what you don’t know — is that she pees when she laughs. Almost every single time. Now, I know this kind of thing does happen to all of us, but we have now coined the phrase, “pulling a Ginny.” All of my friends use this phrase and it’s hysterical. After all of these years, she has finally mastered:
1. The Hyena Crawl, this is where you lock your legs together while swaying them from side to side and laugh uncontrollably, while flailing your arms because you’re too hot from laughing and trying to get to the bathroom. Only to realize, that you’ve pulled a Ginny.
2. The Breathless Toot, this is where you laugh so hard that that you suddenly realize that you can’t catch your breath. At this point in time, you also realize that you are just about to pee your pants, but you can’t breathe and can’t pee your pants, so you accidentally let a toot out instead. You then run to the bathroom and realize, that you’ve pulled a Ginny.
3. The Hot Flash, this is a merge of The Hyena Crawl and The Breathless Toot. You flail around like a hyena, laughing so hard to you can’t breathe, sweat to death, running like the devil to the bathroom — only to realize, that you’ve pulled a Ginny.
What I want you all to take from this, is to just have fun and pee your pants. It’s funnier that way. And, maybe the next 6 months will have a sticker that reflects this. And, maybe Ginny will learn to read my blogs on time. Either way, stay funny. Nobody likes a miserable ass.